Marrying young is not the end of my freedom. It means I want to travel and see the world, but with her by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars and dancing in clubs, but stumbling home with her at 2am and eating pizza in our underwear. It means I know that I want to kiss those lips every morning, and every night before bed. If you see marriage as the end of your ‘freedom’, you’re doing it wrong.
I’m not the girl your mother warns you about. I won’t kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won’t make you choose between what you love to do & me. I’m not cold. I’m not reckless. I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by your side until you decide otherwise.(via fearlessknightsandfairytales)
Dear future child
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.
There is a bird’s
nest inside of
and I am so sick
of turning myself
into a home
for things that
only know how
to fly away.
But silence is not a natural environment for stories. They need words. Without them they grown pale, sicken and die. And then they haunt you.Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale (via splitterherzen)
I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know that I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth.Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
My kneecaps are separated from my knees and
some days it feels like I could pick them up
and throw them away.
I wonder what it’s like
to remove a part of yourself.
In our dreams do we still have tonsils?
When our stomach feels empty,
is it really just the absence of our appendix?
The closest I’ve ever come to missing
a part of me,
was missing you.
Some days, I wake up and remember that my dreams
lie when they say you still love me.
I had the universe in my hands, and you, you held the stars. Everything you had tempted me and I let go of everything I knew, everything I believed in. the love, the promises, the irony. It all stung in the end. You took my galaxies and gave them to her, and I clawed at volcanoes and howled at the moon. You fashioned flowers from her long flowing hair and I pulled my skin from my body in sheets, trying to become who it was you were looking for. That pain hurt. I grabbed shards of glass and let them go again, listening to them hit the tile and shatter once again. I looked up to see your smile of happiness and knew that you were better where you were. I destroyed myself for you and you. you were okay again. Me, I was left with my universes and galaxies, but it wasn’t good enough anymore. I wasn’t good enough. My teardrops fell and created more worlds but I couldn’t blink. I forgot everything but what you told me, the debris of what could’ve been clouding my heart and brain until those were the only words that echoed through my being. I held the universe in my hands, but somehow, that wasn’t enough.